Two Second Warning
by College n Curls
Summary: Life is like the condom aisle. You're never sure what you're supposed to get.
1. Chapter 1

_**CC Note**_**: So here's another little treat for my oh so awesome fans! I had lots of fun writing this one! There will be more chapters full of fun so it's not a one-shot and it's a continuous story so it's not a drabble! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1 You're So Gay and You Don't Even Like Boys**

_God this is boring_ Sasuke thought as he trailed moodily behind Hinata.

He didn't mind going grocery shopping with her but at the moment he was bored out of his mind. He would much rather be fighting off a hoard of enemy ninjas than buying milk and cookies. He had no clue how Hinata knew where everything was and what to get – and personally he was afraid he'd get lost or kidnapped by lecherous townswomen. Plus, these damn people kept staring at them. He was becoming really irritated with them talking about him and Hinata as if they couldn't hear them. They weren't deaf dammit!

"Oh, what a cute couple!"

"I wonder if he's single…"

"She's got a nice butt!"

The last comment would have earned the man a punch to the face but Sasuke remembered how upset Hinata had been the last time he'd last out. His fists clenched in frustration but somehow he resisted. Hinata glanced over at Sasuke and let out a small sigh. She knew he didn't want to come but he'd insisted on escorting her back at camp. So why was he acting all huffy and following her around like a lost puppy? She didn't mind it too much though since he was comforting to have around.

"H-hey Sa-Sasuke..." Hinata started as she turned towards him. "Can you- i-i-I mean...just, um-"

"Just spit it out." Sasuke said gruffly, trying to be mad. He couldn't help but stare at how her lips moved.

"C-c-can you get the, the medicine? I-I I can get the food an-and we'll meet ba-back up front?" Hinata said or more like asked.

Sasuke just shrugged and brushed past her. He was too proud to ask Hinata for directions to the medicine aisle so he was stuck wandering aimlessly in search of it. Eventually he found it but realized he didn't know exactly what to get. There were so many things. Foot creams. Face masks. Cough medicines. Eye drops. Ear drops. Creams, creams, and more creams! But the bandages were by far the most intimidating. Water resistant, heat resistant, aloe lotion enhanced, clear bandages, ones with pictures, big ones, small ones...but which ones to get? Then there were the pain killers- the kinds that killed all kinds of pain except the one you were actually feeling.

Sasuke felt a little dizzy with all of the brands and logos swimming before his eyes but he shook his head and decided to start filling his basket with things that looked remotely familiar to what they had back at camp. How in the world Hinata did this was anyone's guess. He continued grabbing random things until one gossiper's voice in particular caught his attention. He had made through half the aisle when he heard:

"I bet he uses those a lot!" the woman's voice squealed.

Sasuke looked down at the box in his hand and realized what the woman meant. In his hand was a box of condoms. Size small. He quickly put the offending box back on the incorrect shelf and looked around to find himself surrounded by shelves upon shelves of condoms, all brightly colored with eye catching phrases. He looked back at the box he has just put back and his eyes caught the words: "Heat sensitive and cherry flavored". Curiously, Sasuke began picking up boxes and looking at what they said. One was mint flavored and another was odor reducing.

_If your penis smelled bad you might need something other than a condom...more like a doctor,_ Sasuke thought.

Sasuke was just about to place a box of glow in the dark condoms back on its shelf when he heard a crash near him. Sasuke turned his attention to the sound to find Kiba and Ino staring at him in awe and a display of Trojans spilled out on the floor.

"What the hell are you doing over here?" Kiba demanded and Sasuke wanted to kick him. Ino looked extremely uncomfortable and started to edge away from the scene that Kiba was likely to cause.

"I- I'm gonna go find Hinata." Ino said and was off quick as a wink.

"Is this why you volunteered to go with Hinata to the store? So you could lure her with your fancy condoms? Well it won't work because you're not having sex with my sister!" Kiba yelled, causing the already nosy people around to have yet another excuse to stare and whisper.

"She's not your sister and I'm not here for condoms." Sasuke said calmly but Kiba rolled his eyes.

"She may as well be my sister! You've been her ANBU partner for how long and you're telling me you're not remotely attracted to her?" Kiba asked skeptically.

Sasuke knew that his answer to Kiba's question was going to be a lie but he didn't want to admit that he woke up in the middle of the night with soiled sheets because of a certain raven-haired, white-eyed vixen.

"Well then I guess you're gay." Kiba snickered. "But I don't think a gay guy would want to have sex with Hinata…"

"I don't want her… And I'm not gay!" Sasuke said with a restrained calm as Ino and Hinata came down the aisle.

Kiba smirked at Sasuke, knowing that he had won, and then put his arm around Hinata's petite shoulders.

"You'll never guess what I found Sasuke doing Hina-chan!" Kiba grinned.

"Wh-wha-what?" Hinata asked, confused as to what kind of mess Sasuke had gotten himself into this time. She just hoped he hadn't hit anyone.

"I found him looking at condoms for you two." Kiba informed her and Hinata's face went as red as a ripe tomato.

Sasuke let out a frustrated sigh and glared at Kiba.

"For the last time! I don't want to have sex with Hinata. You've got this all wrong!" Sasuke said through gritted teeth but Kiba kept pushing.

"Oh yea right! You were getting hard just looking at th- OUCH!" Kiba cried as his ear was being tugged roughly by Ino.

"Let's pay for this stuff and head back to camp." Ino said and dragged Kiba along by his ear, whispering harsh punishments along the way.

Sasuke mentally wiped the sweat off of his brow, a kunai dodged with that one. He glanced down and Hinata and couldn't help but notice a flicker of disappointment cross those pale lavender irises. Why would she be disappointed?

_**CC Note**_**: Alright then there you guys go! Now review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**CC Note**_**: SOOOOOOO! Here's the long awaited second chapter to Two Second Warning! Thank you guys for all of your support with this story, I love writing silly things and this is a nice break from the drama of my other two stories **_**My Best Friend's Boyfriend**_** and **_**Teacher's Pet**_**. Check em out when you get a chance! Anywho enjoy the new chappie!**

Conversations

They made it back to camp without any problems and the first thing Sasuke did was head for his and Hinata's tent. He had no desire to be in the company of Kiba Aburame any longer than he had to and Hinata was too distracting. Hinata frowned at his retreating back, a bit put off that he hadn't said anything to her the whole way here. Kiba went off into the woods to gather fire wood and water so that left Hinata and Ino alone to pack up the supplies and make dinner. The sound of Sasuke sharpening his tools emitted from their tent and Hinata sighed. He only sharpened weapons during missions when he was concentrating on something, what was he thinking about?

"Hello? Earth to Hinata?" Ino said as she waved a hand in front of Hinata's face to get her attention.

"O-oh. S-sorry Ino." Hinata blushed and began to unpack the things they'd gotten from the store.

"Are you okay?" Ino asked and Hinata shook her head.

"I-I've been feeling weird since what happened at the store." Hinata confessed and Ino rolled her eyes.

"That's called embarrassment Hinata." Ino smirked but Hinata shook her head.

"N-no. More, more like d-disappointment..."

"Wait. Why would you be-" Ino pondered and then dropped the bag of rice on the floor. "Oh my god you wanna have sex with Sasuke Uchiha don't you?"

Hinata blushed and immediately began stammering incoherent words. She turned her face away from Ino to compose herself and then turned back.

"No! I, I, I mean maybe..." Hinata said as she nervously chewed on her bottom lip.

"YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH SASUKE! YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH SASUKE! YOU-" Ino yelled but was cut off but Hinata pouncing on her and covered Ino's mouth with her hand.

'"SHUT UP INO!" Hinata hissed.

She tentatively looked over towards the tent to see if Sasuke had heard anything but nothing happened. She glared down at Ino who had a gleeful look in her twinkling blue eyes, she didn't like that look. Not one bit. She slowly got off of Ino and went back to what she'd been doing before.

"C'mon Hina you know you want to." Ino prodded and Hinata sighed.

"E-even if I did... he'd never return my, my feelings. I-I want more than just s-s-sex, I want to have a relationship. He, he does too I kn-know it, he wants to re-rebuild his clan b-b-but the girls he's interested in are li-like Sakura. Actress thin, stunning looks, height, an-an-and total confidence to boot. I...I don't have any of that." Hinata confessed her insecurities and Ino rolled her eyes.

"God you are so blind!" Ino snorted and Hinata looked up at questionably.

"Huh?"

"Blind. That's what you are. You don't see yourself clearly Hinata. Nor do you see how he looks at you. That boy would jump in front of a sword for you. Really he would. And I'm sure he will return your feelings. You just have to tell him."

"You don't k-kn-know me at all I-Ino." Hinata said as she fiddled with her fingers. "I, I'll say something really awkward while s-s-stuttering an-and then I, I'll b-blush and faint. He-he'll think I'm weirder than I already am!"

"Well I guess that's a chance you'll have to take. But you better hurry up before some other girl moves in on him." Ino shrugged and with that the girls went back to their work.

Hinata took a big gulp of air as she collected all of her confidence to confront the raven haired boy inside of the tent they shared together. God she hoped that he didn't hate her after this! She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and pulled open the tent flap. No turning back now. She entered the tent to find Sasuke sitting on the ground with several of their weapon cases out and sharpening a ninja star. What if he was totally disgusted with what she had to say and threw one of their many weapons at her?

"Sasuke..." Hinata started nervously. "Can I talk to you?"

"Is something wrong?" Sasuke mumbled as he put his tools to the side.

Hinata could feel her palms become sweatier and she wanted so badly to rub them on her pants but Sasuke hated it when she fidgeted.

"Y-you remember what, what ha-happened in the, the store earlier r-right?" Hinata prompted and Sasuke gave a slight nod. "Well when y-y-you um, I just um well, I-I-I felt ah...maybe um we...and you"

Hinata could feel her blood boiling and rushing to her face, this was so embarrassing all she could do was ramble! It shouldn't be this hard to say, people do it all the time. There's nothing wrong with it and if there wasn't then why was she so scared shitless?

"Spit it out Hinata." Sasuke frowned, she was very distracting.

He really wanted to forget what happened today. But apparently not. He'd prepared himself for Hinata to confront him about getting a new partner who wasn't secretly in love with her; it would be for the best really. Why? He didn't know. All he knew was that emotions make a mess of nearly every situation.

"Whenyousaidyoudin''!" Hinata word vomited everywhere and she wasn't even sure what she'd just said.

"Repeat that." Sasuke said, looking confused.

Just say it and get it over with! A voice in her head hissed. He already thinks you're weird.

"When you said that you weren't attracted to me to Kiba I felt disappointed because I love you and want to have sex with you!" Hinata eeped out, slower this time so that he understood but as soon as the last word left her mouth she dashed out of the tent.

_**CC Note**_**: Well there you have it folks! A new chapter all nicely wrapped up for you! The last chapter is already completed and I'll update when I hear some feedback on this chapter. Anywho, thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**CC Note**_**: Alrighty then lovelies here is the newest installment of **_**Two Second Warning**_** and I must say it's very steamy, anywho enjoy and tell me what you think!**

**Two Second Warning**

"Wow!" Ino said in awe.

She and Hinata were currently down in a nearby river bathing and Hinata had just finished recounting her horrifically embarrassing story to Ino.

"I can't believe you did that!"

Hinata groaned and dunked her head under the water, wishing for the day's earlier events to just disappear. She should've never listened to Ino; the girl was dating Kiba after all. The straight forward approach only worked for boisterous people who had no fear of the ramifications their words might have. The straight forward approach was _definitely_ not for her. Now Sasuke probably thinks that she's weird and a fan girl at that! Why couldn't she go back to the simpler days when she was still head over heels in love with Naruto? Oh wait that's right he's married. A sense of de'ja'vous washed over her just like the chilled water she was using to wash herself. She did not see the end of this boding well for her. She reemerged her head from the water to find Ino staring at her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You probably should've stayed and talked to him." Ino stated and Hinata had to stop herself from snorting.

"Why? So he could tell me that he only likes me as a friend and doesn't find me attractive in any way shape or form? And then run off and get married to Karin? I've been down that road Ino and I don't want to go down it again." Hinata frowned and began to float on her back.

"Well sorry for trying to help." Ino pouted, slightly put out that Hinata had snapped at her but at the same time understood the petite girl's anguish.

"No more helping from you. I'm just waiting for Sasuke to come up to me and say that he wants a different partner. It's only a matter of time now." Hinata lamented sorrowfully.

"I think I liked quiet Hinata better." Ino smirked and Hinata stuck her tongue out at the blonde.

"You'll get angry Hinata in a minute if you keep making jokes."

Ino just rolled her eyes and splashed the raven haired girl. Hinata pouted and Ino laughed and drew Hinata into a tight hug.

"Don't worry. It will work out." Ino comforted and Hinata hugged her back.

When Hinata and Ino got back to camp, Hinata was more than pleased to find Sasuke and Kiba nowhere in sight. She went into her tent and searched through her bags for her night shorts and tank top. Once she'd finished changing she crawled into her sleeping bag and tried to capture the elusive sandman but like every night he seemed to slip through her fingers. She tossed and turned but eventually ended up lying on top of the sleeping bag eagle spread and staring at the ceiling of the tent blankly. Five minutes later she heard Sasuke's familiar footsteps outside of the tent and immediately closed her eyes and hoped that he didn't realize that she was faking. She heard a rustle of clothing and then she felt him kneel down next to her.

He gently brushed a few strands of hair off of her face and after a few moments he leaned down and kissed her. But this wasn't a goodnight kiss, nor a kiss you give your mother, no. This was a bruising make out kiss. He demanded her attention for he knew she was faking. Hinata felt her body freeze up as he kissed her, she didn't know what to do as he placed one hand on her shoulder and moved so that he was straddling her. His tongue teased her lips into following his lead and Hinata felt herself emerge from her frozen stupor and kiss him fiercely back.

Her fingers threaded themselves through his hair as she brought him closer and slid her own tongue into his mouth. He then pulled them both up to a sitting position so that her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist without breaking the passionate kiss. Hinata couldn't believe that this was actually happening to her. No one had ever kissed her like this before, with so much passion and skill. He was rough, violently so but she liked it immensely. Their embrace soon turned into frenzied grinding, it was perfect until her mind started to begin functioning again. Wait. What was she doing! She needed to stop this. She bit his bottom lip hard and pushed him away, a disagreeing grunt from his end.

Sasuke did not like being pushed away, especially from Hinata. He grabbed both of her hands in one of his massive palms and placed them high above her head. He then began kissing her again and Hinata felt herself begin to melt back into his embrace. His free hand wormed its way up her shirt and Hinata couldn't help but think that this wasn't helping her stop. She wrapped her legs around his waist and with a mite that surprised the boy, turned them over so that she was on top.

"Sa-Sasuke!" Hinata panted as she tried to catch her breath. "W-why are you kissing me? You don't even like me like that."

"I wanted to show you." Sasuke mumbled, he was never really good at voicing his inner most thoughts and emotions.

What does he want to show me? Hinata asked herself. If it was to show her how great of a kisser he was then he did a terrific job.

"I wanted to show you that I do think of you in that way. I wanted you to know that the feeling's mutual." Sasuke mumbled but Hinata understood and couldn't help but smile at his words.

"Thank you." Hinata smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Just next time if you ever want to do what we just did again. Give me a warning or something."

Sasuke nodded as Hinata lay back down on her side. Sasuke lay down next to her and pulled her backside close to him. She could feel a hard bulge pressing into her butt as Sasuke nipped a bit at her neck.

"Hinata." Sasuke whispered huskily into her ear as he slid a hand in between her legs.

"Hmm?" Hinata moaned slightly.

"Two Second Warning."

_**CC Note**_**: Sooooooooooooo there you have it folks! This is the final chapter of **_**Two Second Warning**_** and I guess you guys can now see why I named the story the way I did! Any way if you guys enjoy stories like these let me know in a review, I've got a lot of plot bunnies just waiting to hop up on the internet. So REVIEW and if you have a story you want me to write, ****AS LONG AS ITS NOT SASUSAKU)**** I will gladly write it for you! So REVIEW!**


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